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Life, death, time...
Just an endless second of nothingness and an even longer minute passing by. Sometimes I even wonder if it's passing. Is life just a nightmare created by my own imagination? "Probably" I often come to think to myself as I sit alone in my somewhat mental-instusionally inspired apartment. Those who constructed these had nothing else in mind but modern simplicity. "Lets not try to make an effort, just paint them all white". That's what I need, staring into all the empty, cold walls of white, white and more white. Like my life isn't empty enough from before.
When it comes to my life I've started getting some requests for cakes. I'm only baking cakes when my family has a party of some kind, only because I feel like I owe them something. I don't give a shit if people wants to give me money for a cake or two for them, if I start doing it it's just gonna grow on more and more people and I'm gonna stand in the fucking kitchen, baking all day as my job and I'm not gonna become a cook of any kind. That's not what I wanna do with my life, so I'm not gonna bother start doing it eather, not even as some stupid hobby. So sick of people telling me what they think I should do with MY life. Fuck off, it's not up to anyone else but myself, so just shut up.
I have no plans of becoming the following shit that people wants me to be:
Cake-baker/Cook
Interior designer
Clothing designer
Sell the pillows I sew
Drawer
Painter
Photographer
English teacher
Litterature teacher
History teacher
Psychologist
Travel guide
Libreriant
...+++

It's just stuff I do, it's not what I want to do every single day of my life. Or maybe, but...I don't know what will become of me. Author? Archaeologist? Musician? Artist? Actress? Producer? Some wannabe Willy Wonka? Maybe I end up working on Travel Channel, wouldn't that be something? Wow, that would actually be pretty amazing, never thought of that one before
Freakin' f%&$£#*d...I'm never gonna get the chance to do everything I want in my life. I'm 20 years old, never gone to college, never had a job, never had a boyfriend, my only really great friends live 8 hours away with train...they're actually the only true friends I've ever known or had. Not so strange I've never had a boyfriend, I can't handle people near me, I really feel like punching people who gets too close, it's just...GET AWAY FROM ME! I panic...
I've never been in love with anyone eather, so whatever.
I think people who's in love are idiots, sorry, but they are "oh, look at me, holding his hand, I'm so freakin' happy...lucky". For fucks sake people *puke* get a grip, it's just another worthless stupid human being. If you had found proof that God exists I could've understood your exitement, but it's just another brainless moron of humanity, how special can he or she for that sake be?
I've never had sex, but I think it's stupid anyway. People are so caught up in it and I just laugh when people talk about it, because I couldn't care less. I laugh, because it's pathetic how caught up in it people are. Everywhere...it's like people has been brainwashed or something. GET THE FUCK OVER IT, it's so over-estimated...so much drama. But tell you what, I don't give a flying shit about your love-life, I don't really care about you in general unless you're Emeli, Katrine, Cecilie, Federica, Chris, Vegard, Håvard, my Mom or one of the members in HIM. When it comes to everyone else, I DO NOT CARE!
It makes me really irretated when people I barely know start talking about themselves to me over here, why do you think I would care? I'm a careless person...selfish as hell.
I'm not even able to eat at the moment so...
I really do feel like hurting someone. Everyone and everything is so irretating. I just feel like breaking something!!!!
I'm sorry for this angrily written piece of crap...
Bye!